502: Exploring the Full Range of Adoptee Emotions

Happy adoptee with adoptive parents

Adoption: The Long View Podcast, Episode 2

Early in my adoptive parenting days, when my kids were first becoming able to talk about their adoptedness and continuing through their adolescence, I was on alert for signs that adoption had hurt them. I’d been listening to adult adoptees and I knew that this could happen. But I was determined to detect and neutralize any negative feelings that came up – as much as I could.

Well, that was pretty misguided. For a couple of reasons. One, that I would be able to neutralize any emotion with logic and reason. Emotions, especially ones that come from a pre-verbal experience, just don’t work that way. Two, that it would even be advisable to try to thwart half of the spectrum of emotions – the entire half I had labeled as “negative.”

I have come to understand that there is value in feeling the full range of emotions. Feeling is a way toward healing, a truth that can go against the inclinations of well-meaning adoptive parents like me.

If you’ve ever wanted to make sure your adoptee doesn’t feel sad or mad about being adopted, if you think being a good parent is to protect your child from feeling “bad” about adoption -- or anything else -- you’re going to want to hear what adoptees/podcasters Lauren Fishbein and Glenna Boggs have to say.


Show Notes

Unearthing Adoption

Lauren Fishbein: lilunacoaching.com

Glenna’s music on Spotify

PS I Love You (Outro music) by Glenna on Soundcloud

Glenna’s story at the University of Denver

Heritage Camps for Adoptive Families

Antifragility article (mentioned)

Transcript

Read Full Transcript

About this Podcast

Lori Holden (The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole) brings to you an array of articulate and thought-provoking guests with lived experience in adoption, each with valuable insights to share about the all-encompassing journey of parenting an adopted person from babyhood to toddlerhood to school age to teenage -- and ultimately to adulthood. Join us as we explore Adoption: The Long View.

Named a Top 25 Adoption Podcast

Lori Holden